Seduction

I think he's trying to seduce me. It's probably just wishful thinking, but I feel it in the way he talks to me, looks at me, and his email wording. But I don't think a college would use a cute guy to make girls come to their school, would they? Because it's kinda working. Again it might just be wishful thinking on my part but I have some proof. I received this email today and it kinda proves it to me. His hints. Me [* names taken out to avoid lawsuit]

Monique.
I have not forgotten about you and your questions. Hopefully I can finish them in the next few days. I've been on the road and have group visits from other schools. [felt the need to explain to me]
I did want to mention to you, hopefully this will help in your decision, that I'm inviting you down for our **** VIP trip on Friday April 15. This is an all day event, but to me you are a "Very Important Prospect" [<-See!!] . I'm rolling out the Maroon Carpet for you and [they don't matter- >] a few others like you. You should receive the info in the mail early next week.

Okay, that's the first part. Subtle hints. Now for part two.

Also. I'm giving you a Scholarship, that's right, it's from me. This is how bad I want you at **** and how much I think you will enjoy and develop better here than in Austin ( great school but just doesn't feel or look like a college type atmosphere) and I'll be with you from start to finish. You'll always see me at functions and around campus. I've already got some of your fellow Crockett High Alumni excited about you and don't be surprised if you get a call from some of them.

Well I have to go. ***** High is coming to campus and I have to go pick them up. Have a great day and I'll talk to you later.

Hello! He's obviously feeling me. I think he saw us looking at him during ****** and said "I'll use this to get her here." O my God what if he really did hear me? I'm so embarrased. That was one of those moments when I let all my cares go. O god I hope he didn't hear me. I'm not gonna let it affect my decision but it's still really cute to think that he would do that and kinda perverted.

I was accepted by UT. Yea, it's great but it's not the redemption I once invisioned it would be. It's funny how much you can change in a few months, days, minutes...I once thought UT was all I ever wanted but now...I don't know. I just don't know.

Texas A&M

Howdy,
So I got in, now what do I do . It's not really where I want to go but I did the seemingly impossible by being accepted. I didn't think the decision would be this hard. I thought I would be rejected by all the big schools and since I don't want go to SFA that would leave me with great old Sam. The good news is that A&M is offering me enough financial aid to cover everything except 46 dollars worth of expenses. Sam: It just felt right. Nice campus and people. [BUT] I felt that I could go there and disappear into the background. It was that mediocre place that I've been looking for my whole life, where I would never have to step out of my comfort zone. Texas A&M: It's so strange and it scares me. It makes me feel that I can do something crazy and I like it. I don't know anyone though, except for Munit T., but I never really hung out with her and don't think I would fit into her crowd [The alternative life style one] and Lindsey G. and her crew, but again there's no real connection there. I'm still waiting on UT Austin to make up their damn minds because I'm sick of god-damn waiting. Okay I gotta go, but before I do.....There was a guy that emailed me a while back and he wanted me to send him my address so that he could send me something. Of course I think you're crazy man!! But I do thank you for trying to help me, but no thanks on the offer.

Okay I'm out.

Big Brother

I got in trouble at school over my COLUMBINE!! post. I was looking at it during study hall and the computer guy took a screen shot of the words COLUMBINE!! and brought it over to the high school to show the principal. Let me explain, this guy can see what's on every computer screen in the school and he can control it if he wants. Well, they called me out of class and I was happy because I thought I was leaving, but the principal asked me what I was doing my research paper over and that took me back some then she showed me the picture and I was 1.) Shocked that she had the pic, 2.) Confused over why she had it, and 3.) beginning to see why everyone says he's a computer tyrant. I thought I was gonna go to jail {jaula} and started to explain that I was just interested and the principal completely understood. But I still can't believe this happened. I try to be very nieve about the whole big brother thing he has going on, but I guess I wasn't fanning ignorance as much as I thought because I didn't know it was this bad. First he blocks out blogger completely, which I didn't write about when I should have, and now this! Well that kills my neutrality over the issue of censorship and crap like that. I don't like it at all. I feel violated. I'm gonna ask more people about what they think of this guy and his dictator ship of the CHS network. I know this girl he's trying to get because she went to like Ebay or something? My heads hurting {mi duele la cabeza} but this beautiful soul song is helping me out. I love this song!! Okay people I'm out.

Good night, God bless.

Viva la Ebay!!!

BANG!!

I've been reading up on Columbine. I know I'm kinda late and all but my interest has been peeked by the bomb threats and the insident where this boy was going to come to school and shoot everyone {almost unstopped} at my school. I started thinking about that day and all the things those kids went through because what if it would have really happened to me. The first thing I did was read this book, Give a Boy a Gun, which was a journalist interviewing people about a real school shooting, it wasn't about Columbine, but someone recounted hearing one of the boys saying that the shooters at Columbine did a good job. Well, this book about a school shooting wouldn't be a book about school shootings if Columbine wasn't mentioned and because of my want to know every bloody detail of an event, I searched the internet for all that I could find and I found this great site which has pictures and journal enteries from the killers. Reading through all the things that the site had to offer, I began to cry. I don't know why, but I did. Maybe it was because I felt the collective pain of that day in a way I was unable to feel it when I was in junior high, maybe it's that thought of dying young, or maybe be it was the fear that that could have happened to me. It get's me everytime. Well, I gotta go. I'm going to the 49 cent and more to rent the video Bowling for Columbine. Hey when I get into something, I get into it.

Good night, God bless.