He's just not into you

I recommend that every girl read this book even though I haven't read it for myself, yet. I have known of it for a while know, since a Oprah show with the author, and I thought that it was good then but didn't think that I had any need for it now. That was until Gloria C. started having boy problems and Thomas W. told her about his mother watching the same show as me. Him being a "man" of our own age and applying the concepts from his own prespective has put a new light on this holy text. With a few words all the mixed signals that Gloria C. was receiving from Wes where all pointing to one thing ---> He's just not into her. I must admit that I didn't see it myself but then I went over the facts: He only calls on Fridays He blows her off a lot, uummmm he's not. Sorry Gloria.

Life

I have no deep philosophy on the matter of life and why, what, when, and where it is, I just know that it is a strange happening that can be snuffed out so simply by nothing more than a misstep or a wrong breath. But the thing about life that gets me is how little people know how to control their own. Amber, one of my new friends, is constantly saying shit like "I can't wear that or this because my mother would kill me." I understand that she obeys her mother, but...Momma ass ain't here. Gloria, another friend, does the same thing but she realizes the point I just made. Maybe it is because I neva had that constant verbal restriction because I pretty much had my own restrictions in place and needed no further prodding that I don't understand this concept of no personal control. I'm not implying that I am in fact the captain of my own ship because the winds are always blowing on my sea, but I always know that there is another path to the horizon. I feel so blessed to have this feeling inside of me that I am not limited in possibilities.

Then....

There are those times that I forget myself and I am lost in these endless darkness that blocks the sun. My dreams interpret it as me driving a car and losing complete control. Going to fast, not being able to control the direction that I am going. People always seem to cause it. Friends that have too many problems for me to handle. Friends that are too needy and I am stretched too thin. "God" I scream because I just can't take it. Right now it's like that. Amber is too needy, always with me. Neva given me time to be alone and recharge, I can't be perfectly me all the time. Then her and Gloria can't get along too well. They're always clashing because Amber is so damn closed minded and does not the limits of things and Gloria is Gloria. I can't write no mo'. My mind's too damn tired.

Sensual

Slow stroking soothing sensations
Enticing intimate passionate temptations
Naughty thoughts of desire
Sensitive notions that burn like a raging fire
Unification of imaginations
Arousal of the mind brings stimulation
Learning the desires of another’s soul


Sensual

Week One

I've made it through my first week of college completely intact and with a shit load of reading to do by Monday. Right now I'm on the completely deserted 6th floor of the Library Annex here @ the wonderful Texas A&M University because my roommate is in the room with her boyfriend and I think I walked in on her giving him head.

Boy do I have something to tell ya'll. Guess who cornered me the other day in the MSC Bookstore, none other than my bestfriend (?) from high school, Grn. If you haven't read the post underneath then let me tell you that I've just been hiding from this person since I came, but there's no where to hide when they're coming directly towards you. You know, it wasn't horrible finally coming face to face with him, no, the horrible part was seeing what he had on his face....MAKE UP!!. Yes it's true, his eyes were lined in black mascara and he had a powdery white powder on his face that made him look like a used up drug whore. One of the first things he said to me was...."Every since I started wearing this make-up a whole bunch of boys have been hitting on me." Ahhhh! He then proceeded to tell me of the boyfriends that dumped him because he wouldn't have sex with them and I proceeded to try to keep a look of total dismay from completely taking over. I think the make-up wearing comes from when I saw him in June for my orientation. Grn has wanted to be a model since I met him and on that day in June he was telling me about how one of his new friends had put some make-up on him and apparently he loved how flawless it made him look. He didn't tell me this, but I think I'm right.

Anywho, I'm going back to Killeen today to stay with the McMillians who you guys don't know because I haven't told ya'll about staying with my father all Summer and falling in love with this completely wonderful family that thinks I'm great. [I just farted and it sounded really loud in this quiet room] Yea, they're coming to pick me up for the weekend because they miss me, plus I got their 14 year old son to sorta come out of his shell. My hidden talent: I could make a mute sing the National Anthem. I have to go, I have to study [yea right] and I gonna fill out a job application for my dorm's coffee spot....Wish me luck.