I actually went to church today. Yep, Monique wanted to be in the house of God to ask for help on my college decision. Like I thought I received no answer. I guess it really is my decision.
There’s nothing like a black, Baptist church. Not the one I’m a member of though, it’s filled with hypocrites and devils and they argue all the time over money. I don’t need that for my soul. We went to another church afterward for the 100 Men in Black, 100 Women in Red program. It was nice to go somewhere and remember the good ‘ol days of hoopin’ and cryin’ women and press suit men all wrapped up in a chorus of “yea!”s and “amen!”s. It took me back to the days of a head full of plats and hot lace dresses. Those days are long gone. But I’ll continue to look for that emotional uplift that we Baptist so dearly love.
My aunt Janice keep trying to make me listen to this song that she said made her and Momma cry. But I didn’t and don’t want to cry so I would talk to her the whole time we were in the car so she would forget and have to turn it down to talk to me. She kept it on repeat. She finally got me though when we were coming back from that other church. I didn’t cry but instead keep on talking until the song ended and only then did she allow it to go on to the next song. The reason the song makes them cry is because it is about a family that’s with someone they know is about to die and the one year anniversary of Aunt Linda’s death is on Tuesday. I can’t believe it’s been that long already. I guess time flies when you’re running away from pain. A year ago today I was in a hospice just waiting for her to die. Damn. I know how I will die though or the most likely way... I will die with everyone around waiting for me to go just like they did for Aunt Marsh, Aunt Linda, and Mrs. Josie two weeks ago. They will talk in whispers around me. That’s how we die in my family, slow and in comas.
Next subject. Well, the weekend passed hella quick. It seemed like I didn’t have any time at all to waste. I feel jipt. I have an AP test of Wednesday for Spanish, Prom is on Saturday, and another AP test next Thursday. Whoopee! [26 days and counting ‘til graduation] I need to call A&M and see what they can tell me to make me go without any regrets. Ha! No regrets.