The Great Depression

It's starting. I can feel it in my bones and in my heart.
My senior year is almost half way gone and everyone is all ready starting to get into colleges. It's making me think about how much of a loser I am. About how I'm a failure in everything I do. Saling ads today, I sat in the back seat while Brittany and Alicia laughed and talked in the front seat. All I could think about was Anna getting into my dream school and Tiffany J. getting a full ride at Oklahoma State for basketball and I just keep thinking that I've wasted my life. All those times I passed up things because I was too scared and afraid of what other's would say. I want those times back and I know that I'm wasting more time longing for them. But the feeling won't go away. If you ask anyone about me, they will say that I'm a happy person. That's a GD front and it's getting harder to dissemble my feelings. I keep falling into these moments of severe selfdoubt and I keep wanting to just curl up in a corner and cry. Someone around me has to know what I'm talking about, but I have no one that I can just go up to and ask for help. My granny already thinks I'm crazy and everyone else will probably just tell me to not worry about it. But I do. About an hour ago I was in the shower when I felt like I was having a panic attack thinking about these things. Am I crazy? Is this just a normal thing that people go through at this point? Someone answer me. I'm sick of being alone in the silence.
Thank you. I had to get this off my heart.