How could I forget what today was? The relization of the events that happened here three years ago keeps hitting me in the head with bat, but I keep forgetting. I'm supposed to never forget or the terrorist win, but I forgot and they still haven't won because today I lived my life. I was happy ( I smiled) and I as remember I hold back tears.
Three years ago I thought the world was ending and it did. The world of safety I as an American had grown to expect dissappeared quicker than a wisp of smoke from my cousins cigarettes. Standing at my locker with my mouth gapping open, I starred at the people who were telling me these horrible things. The conversation went like this:

Diego: "Monique don't you know they're dropping bombs on the Pentagon"

Monique: " No they're not. You're lying. Shut UP! "

Somegurl: " Yea, they are, but it's not bumbs but planes they are using "

Monique: (Silence)

Not much happening here, but in my head things were crazy. For a second I almost, regressed back into childhood. The need to throw my hands over my ears and scream and cry to block the world out was tempting but fleating. Later, I would go into the library and watch footage on the news, then I would watch a tape of the hold day of events from the very beginning. { My IPC teacher's wife had set the VCR to tape the Soaps} Two minutes left to 9/12: The Day After.

But what I tell you guys next will really make you think that I am crazy. I actually wanted to see more footage of 9/11. What I saw on television was not enough, I needed to see the footage that is now hidden from public view. Why? So I could heal. Really seeing and hearing would help me comprehend, that's just the way I am. As I type this 9/11 has passed, but I still feel what I felt as a little freshman watching the planes hit and the buildings collapse repeatedlly. I can feel the air ball into a fist in my throat as I looked up my friend and told her that I loved her and that she was my best friend in the whole newly destroyed world.