They didn't cry like I expected. Even when her name was mentioned there were no tears, but forced smiles and misty eyes. Did she even exist in this cruel world? I let my little cousin pick a song by letting his finger fall on a music file and he picked Burn by Usher. That was the song that was playing as we rushed to Houston to watch her die. It's funny how we make thinks fit our on situations in our own selfish ways. That song has to do with the death of a relationship and somehow it was turned into going through when you know a loved one is going to die but you still don't want her to go. In literature that is called something like a false analogy when you compare two things that have absolutely nothing to do with eachother. I may be wrong about that.

I didn't get much for Christmas. You know, I can remember when Christmas actually meant something great to me because getting something new is like getting a new beginning for me. I think I'm a shopaholic that just doesn't have the money to splurge like I truely want. My aunt Rena gave all the girls bracelets and gave my cousin Jr. a DVD player and my brother a Gameboy, then she had the nerve to say that we didn't ask for things like that. Well, we didn't ask for bracelets either. Other than the bracelet, which I am greatful for [cough], I got some candles and some CDs. I still get that sense of a new beginning but now I just need more things to sat my void.

Okay, I'm being watched so I'm just going to go.